Saturday, June 8, 2013

Remembering Peter

The memorial for our friend Peter is tonight.  Since his illness and passing I've been thinking about him a lot and feeling his absence.  Those of you who knew Pete know what a warm presence he was; what a kind, loving, funny and gentle guy.  In thinking about Pete I've been reflecting on how smart and well-read he was, but how he also was always genuinely interested in what the other person had to say.  He knew a lot about a lot of things, but he was no blowhard or anything like that.  In conversation he always made you feel like you had great expertise in whatever the subject and he was always curious to learn and understand.  And it was an authentic curiosity as opposed to something one might learn in a seminar on "how to win friends and influence people."  But I think it was one of the qualities that drew people to him (I don't know anyone with more friends!). Because he was such a good listener and he valued every person, every experience, every perspective.   He also had such a wonderful sense of humor and this often manifested with laughing exuberantly at your jokes so that you not only felt smart and competent in his presence but also incredibly witty and clever.  Again, this was not the least bit phony.  Peter just had a great funny bone and truly enjoyed humor or any attempts at humor.

I think these qualities also contributed to Peter being such an exceptional dad.  He enjoyed people but none more than children and especially (of course) his daughters.  He was fascinated by and deeply interested in them, in their perspective, their growth, their world. When Peter first told me about his cancer it was clear that his biggest fears about dying were for Carol and his daughters; that he wouldn't be able to take care of them, be there for them, make sure they were okay.  There's a huge community of people to honor his memory by loving and caring for his family (who are easy to love!), but of course, it's not the same and it can't be.

Peter never hesitated to ask for a favor and in return, you always knew you could turn to him if you needed help with something: a ride for the kid, assistance with a project, an errand.  Because he engaged with those around him so authentically, we all felt good, safe and comfortable to engage with him as our true selves.

Pete was very involved with the Children's Theater and now that the season has begun and kids have started rehearsing it stabs at my heart to run or drive by and know that Peter's not there.  He always laughed the loudest at the funny parts of those plays.  That old barn will miss him.

In honor of Peter, I'm going to try to be more like him.  I'm going to embrace curiosity and laughter and family and friends and music.  Thanks for helping to teach us all how to live, Friend.  We really miss you and hold you in our hearts and thoughts always.


photo credit: Bob McCann

Marathoning--A Record of My Times

  • NEW HAMPSHIRE MARATHON, October 3, 2015. 4 hrs. 56 minutes, 8 seconds.
  • MONTREAL "ROCK 'N' ROLL MARATHON, September 22, 2013. 4 hrs. 20 minutes, 41 seconds.
  • VERMONT CITY MARATHON, May 2012. 4 hrs. 20 minutes, 8 seconds.
  • MOUNT DESERT ISLAND MARATHON (Maine), October 2011, 4 hrs. 45 minutes, 14 seconds
  • SUGARLOAF MARATHON (Maine), May 2010. 4 hrs. 18 minutes, 35 seconds
  • MONTREAL MARATHON, September 2008. 4 hrs. 19 minutes, 33 seconds
  • VERMONT CITY MARATHON, May 2008. 4 hrs. 11 minutes, 58 seconds
  • VERMONT CITY MARATHON, May 2007. 4 hrs. 19 minutes, 42 seconds
  • MONTREAL MARATHON, September 2006. 4hrs, 30 minutes, 2 seconds

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