Friday, October 26, 2012

Felt Some Fury Today, so...

Dear Editor,
I’m writing in response to the personal attack ad on Michelle Fay, paid for by the Persons family.  While I know Ms. Fay to be a visionary leader with strong, ethical communication skills and a true concern for and belief in our community, I’m not actually writing to defend her character.  I write because I am deeply offended by the Persons’ (Tim and Sarah) use of the term “recidivism” in connection with victims of domestic and sexual violence.  For those who may be unclear, recidivism means: “a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially : relapse into criminal behavior” (Merriam-Webster). 
From 1999-2011, I worked as an advocate at Umbrella and during those years had the honor of supporting hundreds of survivors of domestic and sexual violence.  I am horrified that anyone would use a term meant for those who engage in criminal behavior in connection with those who are, in fact, victims of criminal behavior.  If a victim of sexual assault is raped more than once, has she or he recidivated?  When a woman fears losing her children, her home, her family and even her life if she separates from her abusive partner does that make her a recidivist?  This inaccurate and offensive language serves to perpetuate the victim blaming in our culture that makes it so hard for victims of domestic and sexual violence to come forward and ask friends and family for help.
Victims of domestic and sexual violence work hard to plan for their safety and Umbrella is there to support them in developing a course of action to help mitigate the many risks they and their children face.   It’s not easy.  Those risks exist when victims stay or leave, report to police or never tell a soul, contact Umbrella or reach out to family and friends.  Sometimes seemingly helpful options lead to new and different risks.  It’s always complicated and ultimately a survivor’s safety is outside of her control, as we saw earlier this week at the Silent Witness Vigil in Court House Park where fatal victims of domestic violence from our community were remembered and honored. 
So how do we measure success in our advocacy?  For me, having the opportunity to let a survivor know that the abuse is not her or his fault is success.  A survivor reporting that she or he has more options to plan for her or his safety is success.  A survivor gaining knowledge of resources for safety is success.  A survivor knowing she or he is not alone is success.  And just as importantly, having others in the community come to true understanding of who is really responsible for domestic and sexual violence (the perpetrator) so they can better support the survivors in their life is success. 
Sincerely,
Zoe Gascon
East Burke

Marathoning--A Record of My Times

  • NEW HAMPSHIRE MARATHON, October 3, 2015. 4 hrs. 56 minutes, 8 seconds.
  • MONTREAL "ROCK 'N' ROLL MARATHON, September 22, 2013. 4 hrs. 20 minutes, 41 seconds.
  • VERMONT CITY MARATHON, May 2012. 4 hrs. 20 minutes, 8 seconds.
  • MOUNT DESERT ISLAND MARATHON (Maine), October 2011, 4 hrs. 45 minutes, 14 seconds
  • SUGARLOAF MARATHON (Maine), May 2010. 4 hrs. 18 minutes, 35 seconds
  • MONTREAL MARATHON, September 2008. 4 hrs. 19 minutes, 33 seconds
  • VERMONT CITY MARATHON, May 2008. 4 hrs. 11 minutes, 58 seconds
  • VERMONT CITY MARATHON, May 2007. 4 hrs. 19 minutes, 42 seconds
  • MONTREAL MARATHON, September 2006. 4hrs, 30 minutes, 2 seconds

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