Quixote is Perfect

Guest blogger Kayla-Rae Stoddard Fitzpatrick, another Descendant:

     Today Quixote and I were getting ready for our big outing to the DMV in Newport, which is one of the most unpleasant places to be for me. So I'm putting her in her car seat and tucking her into her seat with a bunch of blankets to keep her warm in the cold Vermont weather. As I am doing this she is just staring at me. As I finished I stared back at her. Then I gave her a little smile because she is so cute and as I gave her a little smile she gave me a little smile back. It was a beautiful little moment for me. My little Quixote is perfect.

A Happy Life.

Such a perfect weekend.  It's Saturday and I slept late this morning (8:30!  Half the day was gone but it was ohsosweet!).  Then after leisurely coffee and some delicious local bacon and eggs I drove Patrick to his friend's house then came back and did a 6 mile run in 9 degree, sunny, sunny weather on what has to be one of the most beautiful ridges in the world with the 2 cutest, most loving dogs anywhere.  Neil made a fire in the upstairs wood stove so I came back to a cozy house.  I'm often freezing for the whole day after a winter morning run, but not today. Since Harper is racing and Pat is at his friend's house Neil and I had the crib to ourselves for a restful afternoon.  I baked a cake for my cousin's birthday party and I'm waiting for it to cool.  In a while we'll go to the party and visit with all kinds of wonderful family and friends who I miss, including Misty and baby Theo!

Tomorrow my beautiful mother and my beautiful daughter and I are going to Burlington for lunch, spa treatments and shopping at our favorite consignment shop.  Luxury.

The house is warm and smells good and looking out the windows I see my yard, the trees, the snow, the blue sky.

Through The Years

Jen and Benjie, Karen and Byran and Neil and I have been making New Year's Eve celebrations for about as long as I can remember.   Lucky for us, other good friends often join us.  There's something so special and sacred to me about saying "so long" to the old year and welcoming the new year with my oldest friends.  And now that our kids stay up until midnight and double the party size, it's more fun than ever.

Here's Jen and me on NYE 1995/96.  I was pregnant with Harper.  This was at our second story apartment on Charles Street in Lyndonville.  I loved that apartment.

Here's a group shot from a NYE in Putney.  I'm guessing this is 1998ish.

And around the same time of maybe a year of so later, on New Year's Day, here is little Harper in Putney in Jen and Benjie's hot tub.  Isn't she cute?

 Another NYE celebration. 2004/05

KJ and me ringing it in in Lunenburg that same year.

These guys were being good sports in 2005/06.  Jen bought the shorts at her local thrift store as a surprise and then put them up to making a surprise entrance at the annual NYE dance party.  It was hysterical.  I believe the song was "Body Movin" by the Beastie Boys.

New Year's Eve dinner of Cragin/Favreau/Sanderson kids in 2005/06 in Putney.

Jen grooving the dance party in 2006/07

And another fancy kid dinner, 2007/08

Noelle and me in East Burke ringing in 2009

 Tate dancing in my living room

Harper and Nina.  Seems like yesterday but they're so little!

Last year in Putney (2011/12)

And some of the crew last night in Lunenburg, just before midnight.

It's never quite the same without Michael.  He was serving in Afghanistan for much of this year so we were lucky to have him stateside for last night's party.

I don't have pictures from all the years.  We joke that it doesn't matter because it's always the same; a bunch of us around the fire, being silly, often wearing hats.  But looking back you can really see how we're all growing and changing.

It's a big treat that Maria and Peter usually make the very long trip from Pennsylvania to be with us.  They are so much fun and a critical part of the New Year's Eve Tradition.  Maria is a great cook and always brings amazing treats.  Last night she outdid herself with meatballs and sausage, cookies, homemade raisin bread for the morning and I can't even think of what all else!

This year at Midnight, Patrick made an impromptu but very well-enunciated speech.  It went something like this: "It's been a great year.  We've done some good things... and..we've done some bad things.  If we promise to change than we can change the outcome of our actions.  We can change ourselves and how we act."   There was riveting conclusion none of us can quite remember followed by a huge round of applause.  Just awesome Pat!

Happy New Year!!!

Felt Some Fury Today, so...

Dear Editor,
I’m writing in response to the personal attack ad on Michelle Fay, paid for by the Persons family.  While I know Ms. Fay to be a visionary leader with strong, ethical communication skills and a true concern for and belief in our community, I’m not actually writing to defend her character.  I write because I am deeply offended by the Persons’ (Tim and Sarah) use of the term “recidivism” in connection with victims of domestic and sexual violence.  For those who may be unclear, recidivism means: “a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially : relapse into criminal behavior” (Merriam-Webster). 
From 1999-2011, I worked as an advocate at Umbrella and during those years had the honor of supporting hundreds of survivors of domestic and sexual violence.  I am horrified that anyone would use a term meant for those who engage in criminal behavior in connection with those who are, in fact, victims of criminal behavior.  If a victim of sexual assault is raped more than once, has she or he recidivated?  When a woman fears losing her children, her home, her family and even her life if she separates from her abusive partner does that make her a recidivist?  This inaccurate and offensive language serves to perpetuate the victim blaming in our culture that makes it so hard for victims of domestic and sexual violence to come forward and ask friends and family for help.
Victims of domestic and sexual violence work hard to plan for their safety and Umbrella is there to support them in developing a course of action to help mitigate the many risks they and their children face.   It’s not easy.  Those risks exist when victims stay or leave, report to police or never tell a soul, contact Umbrella or reach out to family and friends.  Sometimes seemingly helpful options lead to new and different risks.  It’s always complicated and ultimately a survivor’s safety is outside of her control, as we saw earlier this week at the Silent Witness Vigil in Court House Park where fatal victims of domestic violence from our community were remembered and honored. 
So how do we measure success in our advocacy?  For me, having the opportunity to let a survivor know that the abuse is not her or his fault is success.  A survivor reporting that she or he has more options to plan for her or his safety is success.  A survivor gaining knowledge of resources for safety is success.  A survivor knowing she or he is not alone is success.  And just as importantly, having others in the community come to true understanding of who is really responsible for domestic and sexual violence (the perpetrator) so they can better support the survivors in their life is success. 
Sincerely,
Zoe Gascon
East Burke

Neil and Me

Twenty-three years ago today (approximately) I asked this boy on a date.  Since I'd already fallen in love with him during the prior weeks I was really happy when he accepted.  I think it was a Saturday and my aunt and cousins, with whom I lived, had gone to Santa's Village for the day, so Neil came over to hang out.  We watched the movie Imagine on VHS and then I played him my Van Morrison records.  He had to go to work at his dishwashing job at the Willoughvale Inn, but he went late.  I remember thinking that might be a good sign.

Think of it: if I had "applied myself" in high school and considered more options than Lyndon State College and /or if Neil hadn't failed out of SUNY Cobleskill his Freshman year and then gone on to take classes at Johnson and then transfer to Lyndon, where would we all be today?

I love him 23 years times as much as I did in those early days.  Today the Indigo Girls song that says "The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free" rings in my head.  I'm so fortunate that I was a high school slacker and he went crazy partying that freshman year!  I'm so grateful that I had the guts to give him my number and was slick enough to play Van Morrison for him!  I feel so lucky that he keeps loving me back after all these years.

Stoddard Family Triathlon

It was a great Old Home Weekend.  My favorite part might be the family triathlon, which we started the year before last thanks to a conversation Terry and I were having about Tri-s.  I was like, "let's have one here, tomorrow!"  Thus began a great new tradition.  People can participate as singles, doing all three legs themselves, or in relay teams with one swimmer, one biker and one runner.  It goes like this: swim to the raft and back, bike around the circle twice (3 miles), run around the circle once (1.5 miles). Some people are so strong that we give them handicaps, like making Netdahe ride Gram's bike from the 1970s.  Everyone who does NOT participate stands in the road and cheers or makes rude comments. Mom took a bunch of little video clips and the whole thing just totally cracks me up.  Like here when everyone is actually listening to me as though I have some authority.  And as though it is all really important, which maybe it is but it is also really silly.

Here we are for the first leg: the swim.  Notice how fast Kali is, with Netdahe not too far behind.  And how serious we all are when we get out and run up the hill.

And Harper on her bike, faster than anyone on a bike.  Faster than anyone in the world:

The whole thing was inexplicably fun.  Here are the results:

Single Particpants

1st Place: Netdahe: 20:19

2nd Place: Kali: 21:30

3rd Place: Alan: 24:08

4th Place: Zoe: 25:09 

(since this is my blog I can point out here that I was the only woman and the only person over 40 to do the whole thing)

Relay Teams (Swim, Bike, Run)

1st Place: Henekis, Harper, Patrick: 22:30

2nd Place: David A., Jordyn, Shani: 24:45

3rd Place: Abby, Jess, Neil: 25:09

4th Place: Donna, Tommy/Faith, Deb: 32:57

I'd like to point out here that Faith (age 7.5) wanted to participate so her mom swam, Tommy rode the tandem with Faith, and Deb, who is a cyclist and not a runner, ran.  And without stopping.  They are awesome.  They did it all for the kid.  Adults in my family are always doing shit like that.  Pulling out all the stops and expending a ton of energy so a kid can have a blast.  It is definitely one of the great strengths of this family.

Bad Ass Netdahe with his trophy:

Thank you everyone for such a fun time.  I'm going to practice my swimming so next year I can dominate!

Song for a Late Morning Sunday

I just wrote this.  Sing it to the tune of "If I had a Hammer."

If I had a hammock
I'd be lying in my hammock.
But there would be horseflies
Biting me.
But I don't have a hammock
So I'm lying on my futon
And there ain't no horseflies
Biting me.