As Good As Any

This is Henekis.

Our mothers are sisters. My mother is older than her mother (by 2 years) and I am older than Henekis (by 9 years). Our Champ was their father. For five years now, we've worked together so I get to see her just about every day. Though I think we might have spent more "fun" time together before we worked together and I kind of miss that. Anyway, the other day at work she casually announced that she thought she might like to become a foster parent. I got so excited! Her skill with kids of all ages is exceptional. Think about it; Henekis as a foster parent...it makes so much sense I wish I'd thought of it my self! She'll be perfect!


I've been thinking about writing about Henekis for some time; since I first started this blog, actually. It's hard to know where to start with someone you know so well and love so much. Here's a picture of the two of us last October in Montreal when we went to see Stevie Wonder.




That was one of the greatest nights of our lives. I know that sounds melodramatic, and perhaps presumptuous to speak for her, but it's absolutely true. I'll never forget that spontaneous trip to Montreal. It was partly great because we were seeing Stevie, but it was also great because it was the two of us. And Henekis and I are the same in our passion for life, joie de vivre and free-spiritedness. For me that night epitomizes our "we're just being us and loving life at this beautiful moment in time with no apologies" shared ethos.

But Henekis does a better job on a daily basis embracing this ethos than me. I've been called passionate, emotional and idealistic and heard those words as insults. As I've grown older, I've learned to love those things about my self, but also, Henekis is something of a role mode for me in this respect. She is unabashed and shameless about her passion and living life big. She is wise and courageous and free. I love how she celebrates these characteristics in her self, makes the most of them and is just so HER; unique and strange and wonderful. And did I mention funny? She is one of the funniest people I know and those of you who know her will wholeheartedly agree. She has as much wit as the great Champ himself (and her mother, my Auntie Sally, who is also outrageously funny). If we did superlatives in our family (like in high school year books), I think Henekis would win "Most Fun to Be With".

(Who in the family can scan me a copy of that classic picture of Champ holding baby Henekis wearing clown make up in his arms one Old Home Day? I can see that picture in my head, but I don't have a copy. I'll insert it here if someone will send it to me.)
Our Champ gave her the nickname Honey Kiss.

Henekis is first and foremost my baby girl cousin. But she is so much more than that. She's also one of my best friends, my co-worker, comrade and sister-in-arms. I can't imagine life without her. It would really suck. We laugh and cry together, work and play together and struggle together, and we've been doing those things for almost 30 years! I've got her back and I know she's got mine. And even though she's a grown-up woman, I still see this little girl in her everyday.

Henekis, whose name means "as good as any" is very smart and insightful. More than once I have sought her advice when preparing myself for a difficult conversation. She is always thoughtful and has a higher level of emotional intelligence than most people. But probably what I admire about my cousin more than anything is her incredible and genuine kindness. I strive to be nonjudgmental, but for Henekis it seems to just come naturally. She values everyone for who they are and while she may insist that people take accountability for their behaviors, she is also forgiving and ultimately sees the best in everyone. Like the Red Grammer

song she grew up with, See Me Beautiful:

See me beautiful, look for the best in me.
That’s what I really am, and all I want to be.
It may take some time, It may be hard to find, but see me beautiful.