I'm really excited about my resolution. It all started on New Year's Eve day. Jen and I went to the Hardware Store and Agway to buy some sleds. We wanted to do some serious sledding with the kids and all we had here was one crappy old sled. I don't know what happened to our red plastic sleds. Anyway, we're in these stores picking out sleds and Jen is chatting with everyone, just being funny, charming Jen, not trying at all. There she is, in my community, wearing her gaitors, making people laugh and smile while I keep my head down, get out my wallet to pay for the sleds and make sure I don't drop a glove. Fast forward a few days and Deb and I are doing errands together in East Burke and Lyndonville. We go to the post office so I can mail Benjie his left-behind watch and she can buy stamps, and Deb's chatting with the post master lady. The post mistress is a really nice woman and she always remembers my box number when I have a package. I really like her; she's much nicer than that mean old lady who must have retired or been transferred. But I just never think to chat with her about the various types of stamps or anything else. The next day, after the incident at the post office, I shared a story with my family about an encounter with a friend/acquaintance of mine: I ran into this guy at the post office one day about a year ago and he said something complimentary about my hair. I thanked him (and I think I even smiled), collected my mail and went on my way. He later told someone that I was unfriendly to him; wondered what my problem was. I was surprised at his interpretation.
It may come as a surprise to some of you, but I can be pretty shy and introverted. When I'm out in the world doing errands, whether they be personal or work related, I'm all business. But when I think about Jen and Deb, and even reflect on times out in the world with my mom, who is also shy, but very chatty, I admire and envy their social skills. I want to be friendly! I WILL be friendly! It makes the world a nicer place.
So I've been working on a resolution to be more friendly and chatty. So far it's going great. Turns out, it's not so hard! Sure, during these first few days of my efforts, I have yet to achieve the easeful charm of Jen or Deb. But I feel like with practice I just might some day. In any case, it's a goal, something to aspire to and work towards. And it's probably easier than giving up cookies or red wine.
This picture has nothing to with anything except for the fact that Nina is awesome. And five years old!
8 comments:
What a great resolution. I think I'll join you in it! Maybe we should create a "challenge chart" to keep track of how many people we chat up. Hehehe. Okay, my second resolution is to be less competitive!
I know! When I'm out with my sisters...
Still, when you make The Effort you must be prepared for a certain number of people who will look at you blankly and/or not respond.
Also, I learned when my dad died, sometimes people have a really good reason for not feeling friendly.
I love your resolution. As happy as I know you are I am sure you will find and give more joy every day.
I need to join you, too, esp. considering I think I know where you may have gotten a good bit of your reticence! Hey, that's 3 of us, which might make it an *organization*:
"And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in making some small talk [singing a bar of Alice's Restaurant] and walking out. They may think it's an organization." -- A. Guthrie
But promise me we still get to laugh about how we don't want to meet people and make small talk with them.
CB, I'm sorry, but things have changed for me. That girl who was adamantly anti-social and refused to make small talk with so-called "ex-pats" and fellow tourists, well, that girl...is dead.
I did errands today, initiating small talk with 5 store clerks. 4 were quite chatty, the 5th just kept asking me in a very flat voice to please step over here, hit "OK", sign my name on one of those dumbass electronic pads that makes it look like a totally garbaged scrawl, etc. This stuff don't work with just everybody. But I'm working on it, I'm working on it!
Dad, 4 outa 5 ain't bad. Ain't bad at all!
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